…tru cy is my child
cloud iridescence - caused as light diffracts through tiny ice crystals or water droplets of uniform size, usually in lenticular clouds.
Spirited Away (2001)
Woodblock from Claude Paradin Chanoine de Beaujeu’s Devises Heroïques. 1557; page 32.
college is starting in a week and i’m already dying. my sketchbook is filled with shitty sketches because i can’t bring myself to have any ideas. i want to close myself in my bedroom and never leave. i’m so sad i could die. i don’t want to see my friends and their joy and their success and their perfect faces and their perfect clothes and their perfect laughs. i’m dying more than ever and i though i could never feel worse than what i have during 1st year of college, but here i am. everybody’s dying. i am tired of coming home and seing people rot. for more than 10 years i’ve been watching people decay and fall and slowly turn into rotten flesh. we’re disappearing and we’re praying for it to be quick but it never is. i’m so tired. tonight i’m going to bed in hopes i will never open my eyes again, but i know i will, tomorrow, and after tomorrow, and after tomorrow.
A married couple in bed attended by a nude servant. Fresco from the right side of the right wall of cubiculum D in the Casa della Farnesina in Rome. 19 B.C.
i’m really sad and scared and detached from the world and i wish someone would hold me tight because i feel like my limbs are gonna fall off and i can’t pull myself together anymore
my vacations were the worst ever, i didn’t draw enough, i didn’t sew enough, i spent one month in the hospital, my mother’s dying, i am sleep deprived, college is gonna start in a week, i’m gonna have to attend classes i don’t want to, i’m gonna have to talk to people i don’t want to, i won’t have time to draw, to make clothes, to do do anything i like, i won’t be around to clean the house, to see my family, and life sucks and sucks and sucks and sucks too much